LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (KTHV) -- When someone loses a child there are some questions that have no answer. What do you say?
How can you ease their pain?
Kafi Hunter is still grieving her loss but saying thanks for what she did have even if for a brief moment.
Behind a proud smile on her face, Hunter has a bruise on her heart.
"Losing Haley? It's kinda indescribable because I still have a void. Ya know? I still miss my baby. I still talk to her. I write. I write. I have this big ole journal!" says Hunter.
8 months ago, Hunter was eager to have her first baby girl.
"One of the sonograms she had her mouth wide open I said 'you're gonna be just like your mama you like to talk!' Hahahahah!" says Hunter.
Those are the only pictures this mother will ever have of her daughter Haley. At just 22 weeks, she was taken to the hospital...something wasn't right. Her high blood pressure led to severe preeclampsia.
She says, "I was in the hospital and I couldn't stand up by myself and I was trying to take a shower and couldn't do it. And I was on all kinds of medicine. It just wasn't working. My kidneys were about to fail. My blood platelets were so low that's why I couldn't have a caesarian."
On November 5, 2011 Haley Vaughn Jones was born.
"Ten inches eleven ounces!" says this proud mother.
"She lived for two hours. So I was able to hold her. It was like her little mouth was moving."
This 37-year-old says she's strong, and doesn't cry often. "I don't like to cry! If you see me crying it's one of two things: I'm very very sad or I'm very very upset."
But a loss this great often overwhelms.
Through tears, Hunter says, "I was preparing for a child! My house. I was preparing for certain things for my child and then when you come home and have to hit reality--and no child. This room that we're in? Was supposed to be her room...it's hard."
Hunter tried to deal with her grief and anger--all by herself.
She says, "Sometimes God allows other people to help you get through. So I went to therapy. It helped me. It helped me process a lot of what I lost because I had to realize that maybe I'm not just grieving for Haley but maybe I'm grieving for the other babies that I lost too."
Hunter knows her age, health and race could be hurdles in a her quest for motherhood but she wants to try again--someday.
Until that day, she says her faith and family are what keep her going.
"Your grieving process is YOUR process. Don't allow anyone to tell you that 'too much time has gone by; you need to be over it.' Don't do that. If I could get that moment back, get one hour, one minute back I would just to give her more time so she could survive... I'll see her again. Can't wait."